you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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