I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
