I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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