Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
