So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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