Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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