you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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