Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
