I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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