dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
