Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There are leaves in my underwear?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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