I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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