hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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