do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
