walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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