so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
