I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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