I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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