dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
