Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
