dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
