somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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