He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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