I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
