So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
