forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
