i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
