Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
