You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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