I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
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Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
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Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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