Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
