On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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