Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
