maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
