hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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