When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
