Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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