Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
