seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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