cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
