I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
