You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
