All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
