His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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