Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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