the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
