He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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