You made me cry and you don't even care
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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