i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
