so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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