Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
