Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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