Christians are straight up FREAKS
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
