She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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