im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
