I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
