idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
