You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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