so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
