I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
