That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
