We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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