i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He felt like a one man threesome
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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