my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
