haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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