so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
